Perfect
by Miss Apple Pie
Summary: This is the story about Sirius Black, his father, and the difference between them. [Songfic]


Perfect

Miss Apple Pie

"Perfect" Simple Plan

A Sirius Black Story

_Hey Dad look at me, think back and talk to me. Did I grow up according To plan?_

Sirius hated his life, his family, basically everything it meant to be the 'perfect' Black. The thing that bugged Sirius the most was that his dad wanted him to change who he was. He, as his dad put it, should focus more on what it meant to be the Black heir. Not waste his time with nonsense pranks and stop hanging around the James, Peter, and Remus. For they just encourage his absurd behavior.

_Do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?_

In a funny way he just wanted to make him proud, even though what Sirius did was not enough to satisfy the wants of Mr. Black.

_But it hurts when you disapprove all along._

No matter what he did, no matter how hard he tried, and no matter how much he changed, Mr. Black always found something to complain about.

_And now I try hard to make it, I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good enough for you_

Now Sirius sat on his bed, staring blankly at the wall, now realizing that his dad could not change him to his standards. Sirius was Sirius, and his dad was trying to change him into something that was not Sirius.

_I can't pretend that I'm alright and you can't change me_

They had been close, but now that Sirius was growing up, they had drifted so far apart. Now Sirius was not 'perfect'.

'_Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. _

Now they were so far apart, that nothing could change. The space between them could only grow more.

_Now it's just too late and we can't go back I'm sorry I can't be perfect_

It hurt knowing that his dad did not like the way he was living his life.

_I try not to think about the pain I feel inside._

The memories of past arguments still hung in the air. The yells and screams still bounced of the walls, unable to disappear, unable to be forgotten. The arguments were weighing down Sirius' heart; nothing could change what had been said. The pain was still there no matter what he did.

_Did you know you used to be my hero? All the days you spent with me, now seem so far away._

Sirius thought back for a moment, about how he thought his dad was the coolest, the best, and his hero. Like most children do sometime in there lives. No he was ashamed to think that.

_And it feels like you don't care anymore._

"SIRIUS" his name filled the halls of his home, echoing off the walls. Sirius walked down the steps to where his father stood at the bottom of. Soon as Sirius was facing him, he began ranting about something Sirius did. He yelled at him, he told how much of a disappointment he was to him.

_And now I try hard to make it, I just want to make you proud. I'm never gonna be good   
enough for you._

Sirius could not take anymore, so he yelled back. He was sick of fighting, but he could not contain himself. He would not stand here get told he was worthless.

_I can't stand another fight and nothing' alright._

Hurtful words were exchanged, words they could not take back, ever. Words they really did not mean. They were both mad and just needed time to cool off.

'_Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect._

But Sirius had enough, "I SORRY I CAN"T BE PERFECT!" he screamed. He stormed up the stairs and into his room. He began packing, shoving things into his trunk. He closed the truck and grabbed his broom, stormed back down the stairs, and to the front door.

_Nothing's gonna change the things that you said. Nothing's gonna make this right again._

It took a minute to register, what Sirius was doing, but Mr. Black soon caught on.

"IF YOU LEAVE THIS HOUSE YOU CAN NOT EVER COME BACK! YOU WILL NEVER BE MY SON AGAIN! I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU!" Yelled Mr. Black, his face red because of the level of his voice. Sadly, whether he meant it or not we will never know. These words would never be forgotten, forever living in the in the walls of number twelve Grimmauld Place. _Please don't turn your back. I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you, but you don't understand._

Sirius kept on walking towards the door. He could hear his mother begging for him not to leave, tears streaming down her face. Regulus was at the top of the stairs starring down, not quite sure what was going through his head.

'_Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect._

Sirius opened it the door, for a moment he consider looking back, but changed his mind, than slammed the door. He walked out onto the street and held his wand. The knight bus came and picked him up. When they asked where he wanted to go, he said Potter Manor. On the way to James' place he'd mange to hold himself together, and even hold a conversation with out breaking down. Once in the safe surroundings of the Potter's home, in the guest bedroom in which would become his own, he lost it. Boys don't cry, he kept telling himself over and over again. No matter how many times he told himself that, the tears would not stop. When he finally stopped, when he lay on the bed, in the dark, he whispered, "I'm sorry I can' be perfect."

Miles away in Grimmauld Place, Mr. Black lay next to his sleeping wife in which her tears' train still wet on her face. In the dark he whispered, so his wife would not wake and hear him, "I'm sorry you thought you had to be perfect. I'm sorry that I told you that you were worthless and a disappointment to me. I'm sorry that I said that I don't love you, I do, I love you."

Over the course of days, the pain and remorse turned in to confusion, and over weeks confusion turned into stubbornness and pride, and over months and years pride turned into hatred. Through this hatred, the door to remorse and forgiveness was closed. The hatred turned more passionate over the course of time, and a lock was put on the door, the key was tossed away in some hidden dark corner, forgotten by time itself. When asked of their eldest son, brother and master, Mr. Black would ask "What son?", Mrs. Black would scoff, Regulus face would screw up into the most unpleasant way, and the house elf mutter awful things under his breath, that he never dreamed of saying. Sirius reaction was not unlike his family

Also over time Regulus died, than Mr. Black, followed by Mrs. Black, than Sirius himself and over a long range of time the house elf, also died. The moments of that night faded into forgotten history. Number twelve Grimmauld Place will always remember what happened, what was said, and what they really meant.

'_Cuz we lost it all, nothing lasts forever. I'm sorry I can't be perfect. Now it's just too late and we can't go back. I'm sorry I can't be perfect._

Oh my- have not written anything in awhile- I think I enjoy writing one shots better. Anywho please review- I don't mind flames, just as long as you tell how I can improve.

THANK YOU ALL!


End file.
